Es tut mir leid

This is partially about that curse of expectation and trying to mould others into some preconceived idea of what they should be.

—-

To catch the wings
Of a memory
Passing
 
Es tut mir leid
 
That I wasn’t
And I couldn’t
Be
 
That which you
Wanted of me
 
Es tut mir leid
 
And in your
Desire to shape
 
To shape
Me
 
We lost
We lost it all
 
Es tut mir leid
 
And now
Those feather wings
 
They float
In the wind
 
And to try
The fingers of fate
You must
 
Because
 
That is your lot
 
And as you draw
Each straw
 
Then….
 
There is a cost
 
Es tut mir leid
 
For dependence
Is not what
You seek
 
Yet
It comes
 
So to free
Without
The yoke of
Their
 
Wish to hand
It …..
 
To you…..
 
Es tut mir leid
 
And you wanted
To wash your
Hands
 
And give to me
 
Yet
 
You wouldn’t
 
To love
Means to free
 
And to let go
 
Fully……
 
Es tut mir leid
 
And now
 
We are where
We are
 
The times they are
Changing
 
And man
Must
Come of age
 
With all the pains
Of birth resonant
 
With the tear
Of the first tear
That decorates the earth
In all its splendour
 
And yes
It will be
A mess
 
So in my passing
 
Es tut mir leid
 
That the ears
Of a blind man
Were not yours
 
And I cry at the need
For immediacy
That
 
Forces
 
And I know
That you did
Your very best
 
Es tut mir leid
 
That I was a
Burden unto you
 
And now…
 
I pick up the dice
And with a flick of the wrist
 
I roll them
 
To see
 
Es tut mir leid
 
And in my passing
Perhaps I have cleansed
The way
 
Again
 
Then
 
I have
Served
 
My purpose
 
So now
To walk
The darkest alleys
 
And to find
The stray cat
Life
 
And to light the fire
The fire within
 
Es tut mir leid