Death by Committee

Memorandum

 

The Committee for Due and Careful Consideration

has concluded that, after much,

due and careful consideration

there is a need for some more committee work

in order to reach consensus and include all stakeholder views

 

Henceforth, the Committee for Tentative Bold Decisions

will be disbanded and replaced by the following:

 

The Committee for Developing the Procrastinory Arts

which will be under the umbrella of

the Division of Continuous Development

and manged by sub tier Obfuscation and Delay

special focus group Application of Classical Hellenic Drama in Committee Work

 

The Committee for Exploration of Justificatory Practice

(as applied to the abeyance of decision making).

It will be chaired by Sir John Certainty

formerly of Ladbrokes and now

Parliamentary Under Secretary for the Department of Prevarication

 

The Committee for Extensive Self Congratulation

(a sub committee of the Remunerations and Rewards Division)

This will be chaired by Dame Patricia O’ Bac

formerly of the European Union Centre for Administrative Acceleration

and part time adviser to Greenpeace on Sustainable Bureaucracy (paper)

 

The Committee for Dogmatic Adherence to Due Process

(a sub committee of Regulatory Affairs)

This will be chaired by Rick Parfitt of Status Quo fame

his portfolio will focus on the inclusion of the work

of the above committees into the institutional Dogma Manual / User Guide

 

The Committee for Considering the Risk of Risk Mitigation Strategies

(a sub committee of Corporate Contingency Planning and Risk Contingency)

This will be chaired by the entire Committee for Strategic Oversight

and include representatives from all member states

with each having a veto to ensure complete inclusion

 

The Committee for Employee Well Being and Vacations

(a cross functional committee between Human Resources and Remuneration)

Sir Thomas Cook and Sir Richard Branson will co-chair.

The Committee for Dogmatic Adherence to Due Process

has already received their disclosures with respect to conflict of interest

 

The Committee for Generating New Committees

(This is envisaged as a “blue skies” think tank)

The Director General European Commissary Affairs will chair.

He will be the new committee generating Tzar

Price Waterhouse Coopers will audit expenditure

 

The Committee for Due and Careful Consideration

would like to thank The Committee for Tentative Bold Decisions

for all their hard work over the decades.

It hopes they enjoy the private box at The Royal Opera House

and wishes them well for all their Christmases in Barbados. 

 

Memorandum Ends