The Worrier’s Path

The talker’s rule…

1) A Worrier does not believe in battles, therefore he approaches life with all the accuracy and care of someone who has drunk ten pints of “wife beater” and taken half a gram of amphetamine sulphate. A Worrier knows that knee jerk reactions are best and that repetition of folly is his favourite pastime.

2) By striving for complexity a Worrier fills his diary and day to day life with things of the utmost boredom and futility so as to avoid taking any action. A Worrier is able to construct a twenty seven dimension third order hyperpolarisability tensor for any situation so as to justify the fact that he is overwhelmed by complexity. By projecting catastrophe after catastrophe onto the world, the Worrier justifies his fear and inertia.

3) A Worrier knows that it is better to run than to stand, being sure that he can always put things off until Monday next week, when he can, if there is time, review how to put them off until the following month. A Worrier is sure that there is no such thing as the eternal now and his favourite mantra are “if only” and “what if?”

4) A Worrier never enters into battle because he knows that the control of his self image, view of the world and personal history are what keeps him sane. As such a Worrier is always obsessed with controlling his life so that he can, after all, have life on his own terms.

5) Whenever faced with even the slightest of difficulty the Worrier capitulates to the sound judgment of his infallible reason. He becomes obsessed with displacement activities and bends the true meaning of life to fit with all his preconceptions and prejudice.

6) A Worrier stretches time so that his life is filled with the exquisite beauty of hours spent in the dental waiting room looking forward with anticipation to that root canal work in the absence of anaesthetic. By making life as boring as possible he will extend his apparent longevity by decades. Hence his life will seem like an eternity.

7) A Worrier is convinced that he is only his self image and ensures that his personal history is sufficiently intact that he can be bound to it. A Worrier never reveals to himself the fact that he is a magical being of the universe.