The Difference Between Should Not Be and Is

It is my estimation that many people suffer and find it difficult to come to terms with, when things are not how they are supposed to be. People can tend to have a view of how things should be and when they aren’t it can be difficult to accept.

When someone dies young, perhaps a well-liked and popular father of two, it is a tragedy in some people’s eyes. {Why is it never an anti-social loner?}

It should not happen like that. But life is life. As John Lennon said, “life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” Is it tragic to get cancer? No not really, it is a fact of life that some people get cancer. Yet if we frame it as a tragedy, with a bit of it is not fair sauce, does that make it any easier to handle? I doubt it. Feeling hard done by does not exactly enhance the quality of life.

I am due my first Covid PCR test in about four weeks’ time. If it is negative, I get to drink four litres of industrial grade laxative and then have a colonoscopy. If it is positive, I will develop covid symptoms and the colonoscopy will be put off until such time as I am no longer an infectious being.  If I die of Covid I won’t get a colonoscopy nor have to drink the laxative of doom. I am not entirely sure which is preferrable.

There is no should here. There are simply a few different event trajectories.

The likelihood of Covid is small given a lack of human encounters and my double vaccination. I have to take my Covid passport to the meeting with the anaesthetist in two weeks’ time. I don’t see what the fuss is all about, I have been showing proof of vaccination on and off for nearly fifty years. We had to prove we did not have tuberculosis to get let into Australia in 1970. I can still remember having the X-rays taken at Llwynypia Hospital where my grandfather later died. This hospital is now called Ysbyty Cwm Rhondda. They were excited that we were going to Australia. I foresee as the years go by that I will be visiting the hospital more regularly.

People can spend, and this is the correct word, a great deal of time bemoaning about how things should be and how things should not be.

It is the difference between supposition and reality which causes mental angst.

I can sit here this afternoon and say with a high degree of confidence that for the foreseeable future my life will be gardening, DIY, cooking and the occasional walkies. The only imminent caveat is what happens with the colonoscopy. I have no plans to try to change my circumstance any time soon. This is how it is.

I personally do not see why anyone else might have a problem with that.

There is a vague possibility that others may think that this should not be the case.

To re-sate the hypothesis then.

The difference between supposition, conditional preconception, and reality causes suffering. It is a root cause of suffering.