Feeling Like an Alien

I’ll speculate that many other people have at one time or another, felt like an alien, an outsider and perhaps from another planet. For whatever reason there is a feeling of not belonging.

I didn’t realise that I was an introvert until I did Myers Briggs and suddenly a whole bunch of stuff made sense. Prior to this when I was told that I was a dreamer and not a stalker it made sense.

Human mind and in my opinion, specifically scientifically trained mind, is pretty damn closed. It is resistant to anything which outlies current doctrine. It can speculate on there being alien life, but it tends to cast it in a form of human image, perhaps reptilian but certainly corporeal. It imagines carbon based cellular life forms. Science would be very unwilling to accept that a causal vehicle from another solar system could travel from there and incarnate into a human embryo.

If there is no body, no matter, why would such a thing be impossible?

Humans are pretty stuck in energy, space, time and matter. These are the cultural bedrocks of the perhaps illusory reality shared across the common view of the world. The world is interpreted by humanity from a perspective that is IN matter. The means, the apparatus of interpretation is biological, meaty and material.

To suggest that consciousness exists outside of matter is an anathema to a material obsessed and meaty being. The meat does not like such a concept even if it has a Ph.D. and is a Fellow of the Royal society. “It is simply not possible old chap!”

I first felt like an alien when aged 5 in an experimental hippie primary school in Bristol I learned chess. Once I had learned the rules sufficiently and was able to beat my father, I lost interest. I had understood the concept, subsequent victory was boring.

A couple of years later in the Mount Isa Mines School I was a pom with a Bristle accent. They deducted multiple marks from my schoolwork for my scruffy handwriting. I thought that this was petty and ill-founded. The content was OK, the presentation not. I lost respect for my so-called teachers. I thought they were small minded. As a result, I was close to bottom in my class. When a babysitter asked who was the smartest in my class, I said me. This got out and I was bullied as a result. I doubt anyone else from that class got a Ph.D. at The Royal Institution of Great Britain / University College London.

There are multiple instances of my alien nature which I could bore you with.

I incarnated to extrovert parents and an extroverted sibling. They thought I was shy. My most abiding memory was, “Please for foxtrots sake can you just shut the foxtrot up for once in your lives? Pretty please with sugar on.”

I learned sometimes painfully to become a chameleon.

Now here is the real funny bit, when you tell people that you are a chameleon, they don’t believe you!! They think that you are actually like the behaviours you are mirroring / reflecting for them so as to blend in.

When we came here 18 million years ago from Sirius…

Do you ever feel like you are an Alien stranded here amongst this odd species which denotes itself homo sapiens?

Toltec Active Dreaming Practice

Because I am a dreamer by predilection I did something very akin to the following, at least once, everday without skipping, for a period of around 7-8 years.

In the day I taught physical chemistry and at night I did this…

These are excerpted from “Cry of the Eagle” by Theun Mares.

It is through this technique that I realized I am of the Elephant dreaming class, in other words having a second-ray Soul or causal vehicle.

I had a “tango” moment when I was reading the previous piece from the blue books which if I can find the words, I will verbalize.

Memory Restoration

“Since time immemorial, humans have tried to understand what memory is, how it works and why it goes wrong. It is an important part of what makes us truly human, and yet it is one of the most elusive and misunderstood of human attributes.

It seems that our memory is located not in one particular place in the brain, but is instead a brain-wide process in which several different areas of the brain act in conjunction with one another (sometimes referred to as distributed processing). For example, the simple act of riding a bike is actively and seamlessly reconstructed by the brain from many different areas: the memory of how to operate the bike comes from one area, the memory of how to get from here to the end of the block comes from another, the memory of biking safety rules from another, and that nervous feeling when a car veers dangerously close comes from still another. Each element of a memory (sights, sounds, words, emotions) is encoded in the same part of the brain that originally created that fragment (visual cortex, motor cortex, language area, etc), and recall of a memory effectively reactivates the neural patterns generated during the original encoding. Thus, a better image might be that of a complex web, in which the threads symbolize the various elements of a memory, that join at nodes or intersection points to form a whole rounded memory of a person, object or event. This kind of distributed memory ensures that even if part of the brain is damaged, some parts of an experience may still remain. Neurologists are only beginning to understand how the parts are reassembled into a coherent whole.

Neither is memory a single unitary process but there are different types of memory. Our short term and long-term memories are encoded and stored in different ways and in different parts of the brain, for reasons that we are only beginning to guess at. Years of case studies of patients suffering from accidents and brain-related diseases and other disorders (especially in elderly persons) have begun to indicate some of the complexities of the memory processes, and great strides have been made in neuroscience and cognitive psychology, but many of the exact mechanisms involved remain elusive.”

Excerpted from Human-memory.net

Elsewhere in this blog I have hypothesised some kind of partial memory recall from previous incarnations. Such a thing is impossible if all memory function is brain only, because on death and subsequently the brain ceases to function and be. Using the esoteric psychology of the personality, comprised of physical vehicle, vital-etheric, astral and mental vehicles, these too fade in time. So, for memory to be stored and carried over it must be stored or imprinted in the causal vehicle or in other words the dreamer. It cannot be material and made of matter. It probably cannot be stored like in a neural brain web. There must be some other mechanism.

It was suggested to me that when I encountered the Toltec Teachings this time around, I had had some prior, previous life training, because I picked them up quickly. My memory was in a way restored and grounded into the physical vehicle. Those teachings once again became mind resident. I could hypothesise that a similar thing happened with Buddhism. It is unlikely that the detail is stored but the propensity might be. I suspect that tulkus who undergo training at the monastery are having their memory restored and I guess that the training is warp speed and relentless.

I have done a lot of working, dreaming practise and the master in the heart med., to encourage a linkage with my causal vehicle or dreamer and to hand over control of the steering wheel, so to speak, to it.

I have read a lot of esoteric stuff and it seemed to stick quickly. In reading some of the published material on say kabala, I know that it is both wrongly presented and inaccurately explained, there is a lot of wishful thinking and flowery extrapolation. As a test I once went through one of Crowley’s extensive tabulations of correspondences, intuitively I could see that much made sense and corresponded but that there were glaring errors.

I am a trained researcher of some intellect. My pattern recognition is good.

I’ll speculate that in order for “memory” to be stored in anyway in the causal vehicle the personality vehicle must be on the way to or already partially Soul infused. The more the Soul infusion has taken place the more likely there is a capacity to encode “memory” into the causal vehicle. If someone has worked at Soul infusion then it is more likely that in a subsequent incarnation, they will seek out the same teachings so as to finish the job, to pick up from where they left off.

In Buddhism there is the phenomenon of stream-entry, sotāpanna.

“The word sotāpanna literally means “one who entered (āpanna) the stream (sota), stream-enterer”, after a metaphor which calls the noble eightfold path a stream which leads to vast ocean, nibbāna. Entering the stream (sotāpatti) is the first of the four stages of enlightenment.”

Such a being would on each incarnation be becoming more and more Soul infused and then gain the so-called special knowledge of pubbe-nivāsanussati.

“Remember one’s former abodes” (pubbe-nivāsanussati), causal memory, that is, recalling one’s own past lives;”

One could say that there is textual and traditional precedent for such a thing to occur.

It is impossible to prove that I have memories from former abodes, because nobody alive in the same body today was alive when these “occurred”. With a Tibetan tulku, given that they reincarnate swiftly after death, it is possible that a being could experience someone, some Soul, in two different bodies.

I am wondering this morning if because humanity is so enamoured with its fancy machines and statistics that it is looking in the wrong place to understand memory. Looking elsewhere we might shed some light on dementia.

Hmnn..

“and great strides have been made in neuroscience and cognitive psychology, but many of the exact mechanisms involved remain elusive.”

Le Bateleur – Tarot 1 – Fluidity

The translation to Magician is a bit of a stretch I think it means juggler {?}.

This Tarot card corresponds to the Jewel of Awareness fluidity. I think it fair to say that I am a fairly fluid being, certainly my mind and my interest are capable of switching subject quickly. But fluidity means a little more than flexibility it means in many ways Dao and going with the flow of life not trying to force. It means respond and not react.

If you look at the card here the chap has all his tools, his skills and abilities laid out in front of him on his table and when faced with a problem(table) or a decision he might be thinking what shall I use from my skill set? How best to proceed.

In his left hand he holds either a wand or as I prefer to think of it a flute, perhaps a magic flute, Die Zauberflöte. The coin in his right hand may be about to disappear up his sleeve. One can imagine him leading a stream of rats or children as he dances through the streets of Hamlyn.

Here is a verbalisation by Theun Mares.

It is also the card of the Westerly Dreamer, the female dreamer in the West the place of the Dreamers in Space. It is the card of facing the unknown and to do this with rigidity can only end in disaster. One has to be fluid with what life and the universe sends for us.

On and off these last few days I have been “getting” this card breaking through…

The Yellow Rose and The Soular Lotus

When it comes to models, it is wise to remember that they are just that. It is easy to fall into the trap of imagining the model to be reality and the sum total of reality at that.

When I first started doing the dreaming practice which involves a rājā yoga visualisation of a yellow rose, I was like a duck to water. This was because I can visualize multiple dimensions and things like symmetry operations easily.

Here is an annotated Toltec version of Otz Chiim. In blue are my suggestions.

Visualizing the yellow rose invokes the lightning strike from “on high” and this is an invigorating thing to do. One is intending union with the dreamer the Soul. As a part of the dreaming practice one can ascertain the dreaming colour or in other words upon which ray the egoic or Soular lotus is to be found. The idea is to fully open the heart, the lotus. After eight years of several times a day I switched to the Master in the Heart meditation which builds the Antahkarana {in red} up to the Soular lotus and beyond. In other words, this meditation builds Jacob’s ladder.

The two models do not coincide completely but there are correspondences.

What one has to bear in mind is that these two-dimensional flat representations are in fact at least three dimensions. Visualizing both of these diagrams in 3d should help.

The idea is to bring about complete fusion of Soul and personality, cooperation between the dreamer and the dreamed. This is the first goal of yoga or union.

In effect one hands the steering wheel of the physical plane entity over to the Soul or the Dreamer. Union is the true meaning of yoga.

Vision Quest – Stalking the Dream

In some traditions as a male reaches his maturity, he is encouraged to go on a vision quest either with or without hallucinogenic assistance. The idea being that he heads off into the wilderness with the intent of seeking a vision about the nature of his purpose or role in life. In humility he beseeches the great universal spirit Wakan Tanka to furnish him with a vision. He must be fully open and adopt the right attitude. He is not “allowed” to return to his tribe until he has been given this bounty. Impatience and frustration prevent the vision. Sometimes he has to have very harsh experiences before the vision is granted. Other times it is much more straight forward.

In the late nineties I engaged in a course of North American Indian based Shamanics and we used to have overnight stays here at Cuffley Camp. {It has been enhanced by a long way since we were there.}

I never used to sleep. I used to stay up all night and keep the fire burning. The woods, the forest can be a tad creepy in the middle of the night. On the Saturday we would do various activities, then have a barbecue and a fire, on one Sunday I went on a vision quest in the woods and then on Monday I taught chemistry at uni..

Obvs, it wasn’t a deep vision quest in the sense of a rite of passage. The idea being, and this is related to the fifth aspect of the stalker’s rule previous, that if you open yourself up to the universe it will offer assistance and guidance. Moreover, if you are in an altered state of consciousness due to shamanic drumming you might be a little more susceptible. The drumming produces a state of ecstasy as per Eliade. It shifts the boundaries of the assembled world view. No need for drugs, drumming suffices.

The key is to let go and not force anything also have not one single expectation. Your mind and heart must be open like a proffered open palm of hand.

I have quite literally sat in the arms of a tree and waited for guidance.

The dream is all around you. The dream is not the socio-political “reality” of your day-to-day life. The dream is imbued with dreaming symbols.  Because my mind is calm, and I now walk slowly I have more animal encounters than most.  And these animals can be interpreted as dreaming symbols, just like one may try to interpret a nocturnal dream.

I can relatively easily shift into what is called left-side awareness or the dreaming awareness. On a number of occasions, I have gone “walkies” without a map largely in heightened awareness. I have explored places like Kinder Scout, the Old Man of Coniston. I once followed some crows up Coniston into the mist when It was descending and covered with snow. Nobody else was foolish enough to be out. I got further and further into the mists, confident that I could follow my tracks in the snow back. And then I bottled and headed back down. Two things might have happened that day. I could have been granted a vision or I could have died.

Because I can see, at the moment, no clear way forward I will invoke the fifth aspect of the stalker’s rule to see if the universe wishes to offer me any assistance or not.

“Whenever faced with impossible odds, a warrior opens himself up to the world around him by allowing his mind to become occupied with the little details of life.”

I’ll let you know what if anything transpires.

Hallucinations, Psychosis or Dreaming?

As can be seen from the previous post there is biblical precedent for the importance of dreams. One web site I visited claims there are 21 dreams in the bible. Six of the dreamers are kings, one is a woman and two of the dreamers are called Joseph. These dreams include Jacob’s ladder. Many of these dreams have an element of prescience. The pharaoh acting on his dream saved Egypt from famine, according to the text. The dream had 7 which is the Toltec dreaming symbol for guidance {need for}.

I have just done a quick search and found that some people have suggested the Joan of Arc had psychiatric problems rather than angelic contact. There is an apparently rich Islamic tradition pertaining to dreams.

I have had waking dreams and sleeping dreams. I know what physical plane reality is, I know other realties too.

People are sceptical and want to pick holes, to prove just how darned clever they are.

Everybody has a theory which they feel an urge to share. Many wish to explain away any possible spiritual explanation because that does not fit with their material pseudo-rational hedonism.

This afternoon I am “picking up” palpitations, there are not mine. They are of the nature OMG. What have I / we done? There is a sense of some kind of penny dropping. A penny which refuses all telekinetic attempts at stopping the fall.

Hmm I guess I had better go and lock myself up in the loony bin…

Pharaoh’s Dreams

When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream: he was standing by the Nile, when out of the river there came up seven cows, sleek and fat, and they grazed among the reeds. After them, seven other cows, ugly and gaunt, came up out of the Nile and stood beside those on the river-bank. And the cows that were ugly and gaunt ate up the seven sleek, fat cows. Then Pharaoh woke up.

He fell asleep again and had a second dream: seven ears of corn, healthy and good, were growing on a single stalk. After them, seven other ears of corn sprouted – thin and scorched by the east wind. The thin ears of corn swallowed up the seven healthy, full ears. Then Pharaoh woke up; it had been a dream.

In the morning his mind was troubled, so he sent for all the magicians and wise men of Egypt. Pharaoh told them his dreams, but no one could interpret them for him.

Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, ‘Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream. And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us: I was restored to my position, and the other man was impaled.’

So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh.

Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘I had a dream, and no one can interpret it. But I have heard it said of you that when you hear a dream you can interpret it.’

‘I cannot do it,’ Joseph replied to Pharaoh, ‘but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires.’

Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘In my dream I was standing on the bank of the Nile, when out of the river there came up seven cows, fat and sleek, and they grazed among the reeds. After them, seven other cows came up – scrawny and very ugly and lean. I had never seen such ugly cows in all the land of Egypt. The lean, ugly cows ate up the seven fat cows that came up first. But even after they ate them, no one could tell that they had done so; they looked just as ugly as before. Then I woke up.

‘In my dream I saw seven ears of corn, full and good, growing on a single stalk. After them, seven other ears sprouted – withered and thin and scorched by the east wind. The thin ears of corn swallowed up the seven good ears. I told this to the magicians, but none of them could explain it to me.’

Then Joseph said to Pharaoh, ‘The dreams of Pharaoh are one and the same. God has revealed to Pharaoh what he is about to do. The seven good cows are seven years, and the seven good ears of corn are seven years; it is one and the same dream. The seven lean, ugly cows that came up afterwards are seven years, and so are the seven worthless ears of corn scorched by the east wind: they are seven years of famine.

‘It is just as I said to Pharaoh: God has shown Pharaoh what he is about to do. Seven years of great abundance are coming throughout the land of Egypt, but seven years of famine will follow them. Then all the abundance in Egypt will be forgotten, and the famine will ravage the land. The abundance in the land will not be remembered, because the famine that follows it will be so severe. The reason the dream was given to Pharaoh in two forms is that the matter has been firmly decided by God, and God will do it soon.

‘And now let Pharaoh look for a discerning and wise man and put him in charge of the land of Egypt. Let Pharaoh appoint commissioners over the land to take a fifth of the harvest of Egypt during the seven years of abundance. They should collect all the food of these good years that are coming and store up the grain under the authority of Pharaoh, to be kept in the cities for food. This food should be held in reserve for the country, to be used during the seven years of famine that will come upon Egypt, so that the country may not be ruined by the famine.’

The plan seemed good to Pharaoh and to all his officials. So Pharaoh asked them, ‘Can we find anyone like this man, one in whom is the spirit of God?’

Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, ‘Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.’

Genesis 41 New International Version {UK}