The Big C Recapitulation.

I found these excerpts from an earlier blog, written not long after my cancer operation on the 2nd July 2015.

Thursday the 7th of August

It has been a bit of a whirlwind these last two months or so; so much to process and much to learn. June 2nd they found seven polyps, I said to the GP that as I had seven tickets in the cancer lottery at odds of 10:1 per polyp, there was a good chance I would win. He didn’t like my analysis and was a little shocked. June 10th a strange man stuck a big black colonoscope up my arse and through the haze of barbiturates he said “tumour”. I looked at the screen and there it was, markedly different from the now eleven polyps. He said that from his experience he was 97% sure that it was cancer. I watched him excise the polyps and take biopsies of the tumour.

In the recovery room the nurses were all a bit weird, they did not know what to say or do. I had to tell the wife. In the step down room there were others there. I said the word tumour and the place fell silent. One CT scan and an inconclusive biopsy later, I was back for yet another thing up my arse. Measure twice cut once; is the old adage. I got my second internal tattoos. July the 2nd on a hot night to the light of a full moon they cut it out along with 38 lymph nodes. And now I am here back on the farm, a member of the Big C club.

I am not back to full strength yet. If I do exercise the next day I am tired. My brain and my language is functioning OK. My plumbing and sewerage works, though the latter now has idiosyncrasy. How I yearn for a curry but the pipes can’t cope with that yet.

I was never afraid of death and I still am not. This is not bravado talking. When you have seen what I have seen, there is no fear of death; not so keen on more operations, a stoma and chemo though. For now though it is wait and see. Watch the pan for any blood and at Christmas the chimney sweep will again look up my chimney, the CAT scan will cut my body into slices and the Gods of the interdisciplinary team will decree.

It is strange to watch people’s faces as you say the magic word of doom. You can’t unsay it. It is out there. It causes a lot of fear. You can almost see; “But for the grace of God there go I” run across a screen on their foreheads. Those who have been a bit shitty to you blush a little internally. If you listen to the wind you can hear the jungle drums of gossip. “Well I never. He did drink and smoke you know! Tut, tut, tut…” Are not people just great?

It occurred to me that having a Big C could be used for manipulation and attention seeking. I made a little vow to myself not to do this. I did not want to have to deal with other people’s drama. It is funny how so very many people make your cancer all about them.

Life has no doubt changed for me and the wife. In fact it is still changing. I am not yet clear how I want to use the rest of this life. I don’t have the obligatory, perhaps inane, bucket list. I have already had quite a few adventures and travelled widely, by the age of 13 I had 160,000 air miles, back when air miles were harder to come by. The world now is so brim full of health and safety and you have to sign a chit before you can fart. How did we get here, to this and the mind-set which pervades?

If it comes back I have thought of Dignitas or running away to join the Peshmerga. I don’t know how I will be or what I will think. I can take my consciousness out of the body at will, but you cannot break the laws of karma. When your time is up, it is up and not before. I guess wait and see how this pans out is all that I can do for now.

I do have a sense of needing to move and a vague feeling that chapters of life need closing. The trouble is there are other actors in those chapters and you cannot simply stand on the book to close the chapter when others are keeping it open. They have unfinished business even if they do not acknowledge this. I can sense this at a distance. It is not my move in the game of life in this respect.

I have a strange hankering for mountains and rivers. I do not want another cold dank British winter. I will need a revenue stream wherever we go. It does not need to be big. These are the only parameters which spring to mind.

Only once did self-pity get the better of me. A syringe of oral morphine soon fixed that as I drifted off in reverie. Death could be a release for me for I am often unwelcome and I am a source of friction to others. The world has not always been kind to me. That sore thumb which simply will not shut up and die, I am a reminder.

But hey, I am alive and kicking.

As a result of all this my will has been rewritten and my tax return submitted early. I even have a free prescription voucher now, yippee!

People are so very scared, so unreal. I am not made of porcelain, never have been, never will be. In fact I am likely to be even more forthright than before. The vestiges of fear are perhaps dissected under the pathologist’s knife. Cancer is not taboo to me, it is, so it seems, to others.

There is no fatted calf waiting for the Prodigal, this I have learned in spades. There is no way back to the life I had once. All that awaits is resentment and suspicion. To jettison that which people hold dear is the ultimate betrayal. Yet did not Siddhartha also leave the palace and Thoreau, did he not say;

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.”

Well what do you do when you have left the palace and wandered in the woods? What next?

As sure as sixpence you belong among the madding crowd even less.

This is not my first brush with death, that happened when I was 11. I never felt his breath on my neck this time, I heard his footsteps down the corridor but I wasn’t yet in his diary. He had an appointment elsewhere and had to dash. No doubt we will meet again some day.

So I am in a sort of limbo, an in between state. It is all rather odd even timeless. There is no real sense of life before the Big C and as yet no sight of a future. There is only now. Each second seems somehow dilated as if the elastic of time has been stretched. I wonder if it will ever ping back or whether it is stuck like this.

I guess I am an even stranger fish than I was before, though looking at me you would not know. My fifty year old vehicle looks much like all the others, you would not know my exhuast is faulty at first sight.

Devoid of ambition, alive and wondering what else lies ahead. What shall I do with the rest of the time on my clock? I sure as hell don’t know today….

Monday the 10th of August

Today is one of those sleepy drowsy days. I am napping on and off. Last night I had a Chinese takeaway and today I am paying the price; a bit glued up down there.

About five weeks since a nice man sliced me open and took out a piece of colon. The sciences of soft wet matter, biology and medicine, have advanced. Half a century ago I would be five weeks closer to the grave. The stricturing tumour would be closing the diameter of my colon and my appetite would be waning. Perhaps it would have broken through the colon wall and into the lymph nodes. After that, well it would probably only be a matter of time. There is a part of me that wonders if I have interfered with karma.

There is a sense of other worldliness to me. I go into town and watch the townsfolk go about their business, urgent on their ‘phones and tutting the children. Snippets of conversation float by and I hear the gripes, the cunning plans and the gossip.

I discussed telling others about this. I live pretty much as a recluse and it seemed a bit odd to contact people out of the blue; “Hi remember me? I just got a cancer diagnosis.” So I haven’t done this (with one exception). Someone emailed me a week ago, I told them and nothing; no reply, no “how are you?”. Another wanted only to argue with me.

In the ether I can sense people with temporal power of varying degree talking about me. {I was not always a recluse}. The gossip goes on. What to do? They may even still be watching me and what I say or do, the sick bastards. Of course this could all be paranoia.

That world, their world is now so very alien to me. It is a case of same planet, different worlds.

That chapter started again over two years ago when I was stupid enough to apply for a job back in technology and science. When will I learn? I can’t undo that nor whatever is in motion now. It will run its course. I opened up Pandora’s box.

Around those campfires, how people like to sit and gossip and those jungle drums, they beat of a jungle night.

Me I am powerless. Here in my hut I regain and do not have any clue what the world will now turn out to be. There is no oracle or scrying glass to foretell and I am not strong enough for a vision quest.

For now I must simply wait and doze.

Since the anaesthetic my dreams have been all over the place and what remained of my memories have faded. This stillness of now, is utter. It is only punctuated by the sound of the farm and the rare passing car.

Now, that is what there is, now and a whole lot of it.

Thursday the 13th of August

We cannot claim that the ally is a moth as we ordinarily know moths. Nonetheless, moths are the heralds of eternity, and because of this they carry on their wings the gold dust of eternity. This is the way in which it has been set up by power.

Today it rains and the sky stomach rumbles, waiting for dinner. The rain ebbs and flows and boy does it feel good. In town and out here, the cold water drops through my linen shirt had me scurrying. To have your hair washed in such a way brings a smile and not a grimace. I love the rain as only a child of the desert can. For I was once scorched there.

This afternoon a gentle tear rolled down my face as I remember the kindness of the two young nurses in the recovery room. I am not used to so much of that.

Last night the ally came and we watched Perseids in the night sky. To lay on the grass and then in the cloud window before the storm, they came. It is good out here, for England that is, not too much light pollution. The skies are not quite so big as those of the Australian desert or the African bush. They are big enough.

When I awoke after five hours surgery in the recovery room, things were a bit of a blur. I was off my face still. I had three cannulae and a catheter, two veins and an artery. There was an arterial pressure transducer and a sleeve. I had two inflating stockings pulsing on my legs. After everyone was gone I was there with the others. I drifted in and out unable to sleep like everyone else. A soft-spoken Czech nurse was looking after me. She sat close doing some paperwork and from time to time we spoke as she gave me more IV morphine. Everyone else seemed to be sleeping. It was a United Nations ward, at least among the staff. We spoke of many things in those wee small hours.

She handed over to a young Kenyan nurse in the morning. And that African alternation in her words had me back in the garden with Spider and Tembo. I was sitting with them playing the stone game as they held court for the young men. I was always allowed to be with them. I passed many an hour there and was more native than the rest of my family. I was back with Maasai witch doctor who offered me a place to stay in his village and for as long as I wanted. That rhythm of life had me. Unless you have experienced it, you will never know the directness. There are words and there is communication beyond words.

She bathed my back and made me do my front. She asked me what I did and I told her. I said that I did not know what to do next. She said that I could write a book. And then she said as if I was stupid and it was very obvious; “You impart knowledge!” . It was almost a command.

When I stood for the physio to check me over I could see the concern in her eyes that I might fall. That nonverbal communication was clear enough. Less than twelve hours after the operation the physio discharged me. A little later I was handed over to the private single room. The young nurse hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and said that my name was now in the prayer box. Prayers would be said for me. I thanked her.

Strange, that I am welling up as I write this. How often it is that acts of kindness from a stranger are profound.

Given how weird the days after the operation were, there is a part of me that wonders if something else happened in theatre, something nobody has mentioned to me. Anaesthesia and meditation do not mix well, I know this from another operation I had. This time it has been a whole different kettle of fish. When I got to the private rooms, the look on the nurse’s faces when they relayed that I had already been discharged by physio was to be beheld. There was a sense of something secret to which I could not put my finger; I was a hot potato.

I don’t feel very spud-u-like today, rather slightly tearful. There is a tenderness in that water and a sadness at what people do to each other. My heart feels full, it is the soft swell of compassion. I wonder when and if people will stop being so silly and nasty to each other. Don’t they realise that time runs like desert sand in the clock of life. Why all this damn posturing?

And now the rain has fallen, there is the sound of a passing car and a puddle; such an evocative call. It is the human swish of life, always in a hurry, never pausing to tarry. The world is in a rush and life is for granted. And there goes another one…..

Yoga Sutras of Patañjali- Integration, Illumination and Freedom

Excerpted from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Alice Bailey & Djwhal Khul

And “A Sanskrit English Translation” By Chip Hartranft

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali – Book 3 – Union achieved and its Results.

1. Concentration is the fixing of the chitta (mind stuff) upon a particular object. This is dharana.

We have now reached the part of the Yoga Sutras which deals specifically with mind control and with the effect of that control. The first fifteen sutras are given to the control of the mind and how it is to be attained and the remaining forty sutras concern the results which take place after this control has been gained. Twenty-four results are enumerated, and these are all along the line of expansions of consciousness and the demonstration of psychic faculties, both lower and higher.

The first step towards this unfoldment is concentration, or the ability to hold the mind steadily and unwaveringly upon that which the aspirant chooses. This first step is one of the most difficult stages in the meditation process and involves constant unremitting ability to keep bringing the mind back to that “object” upon which the aspirant has chosen to concentrate. The stages in concentration are themselves well marked and can be stated as follows:

  1. The choice of some “object” upon which to concentrate,
  2. The withdrawing of the mind-consciousness from the periphery of the body, so that the avenues of outer perception and contact (the five senses) are stilled, and the consciousness is no longer outgoing,
  3. The centering of the consciousness and its steadying within the head at a point midway between the eyebrows,
  4. The application of the mind, or the paying of close attention to the object chosen for concentration,
  5. The visualization of that object, imaginative perception of it and logical reasoning about it,
  6. The extension of the mental concepts which have been formed from the specific and particular to the general and the universal or cosmic,
  7. An attempt to arrive at that which lies back of the form considered, or to reach the idea which is responsible for the form.

This process gradually steps up the consciousness and enables the aspirant to arrive at the life side of manifestation instead of the form side. He begins however with the form or “object.” Objects upon which to concentrate are of four kinds:

  1. External objects, such as images of the deity, pictures or forms in nature,
  2. Internal objects, such as the centers in the etheric body,
  3. Qualities, such as the various virtues, with the intent to awaken desire for these virtues and thus to build them into the content of the personal life,
  4. Mental concepts or those ideas which embody the ideals lying back of all animated forms. These may take the form of symbols or of words.

In one of the Puranas the idea embodied in concentration is expressed most beautifully. The aspirant is told, after he has made use of the first five means of yoga (dealt with in Book II), that he “should make a localization of the mind stuff upon some auspicious support” and this localization is illustrated by a description of the fixing of the attention upon a form of God.

    “The incarnated form of the Exalted One leaves one without desire for any other support. This should be understood to be fixed, attention, when the mind stuff is fixed upon this form. And what is this incarnate form of Hari on which one should ponder, let that be heard by thee, 0 Ruler of Men. Fixed attention is not possible without something on which to fix it.” (Vishnu Purana V 1. 7. 75-85.)

Then follows a description of the incarnated form of the Exalted One, concluding with these words:

    “…upon Him let the yogin ponder; and lost in Him, concentrate his own mind until, 0, King, the fixed attention becomes firmly fixed upon Him only. While performing this or while doing, as he wills, some other action wherein his mind does not wander, he should then deem this fixed attention to be perfected.” (Naradiya Purana LXVII. 54-62.)

It is the realization of the necessity for “objects” in concentration that originated the demand for images, sacred sculptures and pictures. All these objects entail the use of the lower concrete mind and this is the necessary preliminary stage. Their use brings the mind into a controlled condition so that the aspirant can make it adjust what he chooses. The four types of objects mentioned above carry the aspirant gradually inwards and enable him to transfer his consciousness from the physical plane into the etheric realm, from thence into the world of desire or of the emotions, and so into the world of mental ideas and concepts. This process, which is carried on within the brain, brings the entire lower man into a state of one-pointed coherent attention, all parts of his nature being directed to the attainment of fixed attention or a concentration of all the mental faculties. The mind then is no longer scattering, unsteady and outgoing, but is fully “fixed in attention.” Vivekananda translates “dharana” as “holding the mind to one thought for twelve seconds.” This clear, one-pointed, still perception of an object, without any other object or thought entering into one’s consciousness is most difficult of achievement, and when it can be done for the space of twelve seconds, true concentration is being achieved.


55. When the objective forms and the soul have reached a condition of equal purity, then is At-one-ment achieved and liberation results.

That which veils the light of the soul has been rendered pure, and thus the light of God streams forth. That which proved a hindrance and an obstacle to the full expression of divinity in manifestation has been so dealt with that now it serves as an adequate expression and means of service. The soul can now function freely and intelligently in the three worlds because complete unity has been reached between the lower and the higher man.

The soul and its vehicles form a unit and are at one; complete alignment of the bodies has been achieved and the Son of God can function freely on earth. Thus has the great objective been reached and through a following of the eight means of yoga the soul can manifest through the lower threefold man, and in its turn form a medium of expression for the spirit. Matter has been brought into a state where its vibration can synchronize with that of the soul, and the result is that – for the first time – spirit can make its presence felt, for “matter is the vehicle for the manifestation of soul on this plane of experience and the soul is the vehicle for the manifestation of spirit on a higher turn of the spiral. These three are a trinity synthesized by life which pervades them all.” To the man who has achieved this there is no rebirth. He is free and liberated, and can say with full conscious realization of the significance of the words:

    My life (the lower physical life) is hid with Christ (the soul life) in God (the spirit.) (Col., III, 3)

——————-

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali – Book 4 – Illumination

1. The higher and lower siddhis (or powers) are gained by incarnation, or by drugs, words of power, intense desire or by meditation.

We have now come to the fourth book in which the powers and the results gained by the practice of Raja Yoga are carried forward into group realization and it is seen that they produce universal consciousness and not simply self-consciousness. It seems the part of wisdom to protest here against the use of the words “cosmic consciousness” as untrue and misleading, for even the highest adept (note this term with care) is only gifted with solar consciousness and has no contact with that which is outside our solar system. The planetary Logoi (the seven Spirits before the Throne), and the Lords of Karma (the “four wheels” of Ezekiel) have a realization beyond that of our solar system. Lesser existences may sense it as a possibility but it is not yet part of their experience.

The powers gained fall into two main groups called:

  • Lower psychic powers, the lower siddhis.
  • Spiritual powers or the higher siddhis.

The lower powers are the result of the consciousness of the animal soul in man being en rapport with the anima mundi or the soul of the world, the subjective side of all forms in the three worlds, of all bodies in the four kingdoms of nature. The higher powers are the result of the development of group consciousness, of the second aspect of divinity. They not only include the lesser powers but put a man en rapport with those existences and forms of life which are to be found in the spiritual realms, or, as the occultist would say, on those two planes which are beyond the three worlds, and which cover the entire scale of man’s evolution, human and superhuman.

The goal of the true aspirant is the unfoldment of these higher powers which can be covered by the terms direct knowledge, intuitive perception, spiritual insight, pure vision, the attainment of the wisdom. They are different from the lower powers, for they abrogate them. These latter are accurately described for us in Book III, Sutra 37:

    “These powers are obstacles to the highest spiritual realization, but serve as magical powers in the objective worlds.”

These higher powers are inclusive and are distinguished by their accuracy and infallibility when rightly employed. Their working is as instantaneous as a flash of light. The lower powers are fallible, the time element is present in its sequential sense and they are limited in their working. They form part of the great illusion and to the true aspirant constitute a limitation.

In the sutra we are considering, five means are given whereby the psychic powers are developed and it is interesting to note that we have in these words an instance of the fact that the Yoga Sutras can still be the study and teaching manual of even such advanced aspirants as the Masters of the Wisdom. These five methods are capable of application upon all the five planes of human evolution, which include the two higher planes whereon initiates of the Mysteries function.

 1. Incarnation                   The physical plane method.

2. Drugs                            The release of the astral consciousness.

3. Words of Power           Creation by speech, or the method of the mental plane.

4. Intense desire              The sublimation of aspiration or the method of the buddhic plane, the sphere of spiritual love.

5. Meditation                 The method of the atmic plane, the sphere of spiritual will.

 In this enumeration, it might be noted that just as intense desire of a spiritual kind is a sublimation of astral or emotional desire, so meditation, as practised by the initiates, is the sublimation of all the mental processes. Therefore the two final methods given as resulting in the unfoldment of the siddhis are the only ones that are practised by initiates, being the synthesis and sublimation of the realizations achieved on the astral and mental planes.

It might, therefore, be observed that (for the seeker after truth) incarnation, intense desire and meditation are the three permissible methods, and the only ones to be practised; drugs and words of power or mantric incantations are the tools of black magic and concern the lower powers.

The question might here be asked, is it not true that words of power and the use of incense form part of the ceremonies of initiation and therefore are used by initiates and aspirants. Certainly, but not in the sense understood here, or for the purpose of developing psychic powers. The Masters and their disciples use words of power in order to deal with the non-human existences, to invoke the aid of the angels, and to manipulate the building forces of nature, and they employ herbs and incenses in order to purify conditions, eliminate undesirable entities and so make it possible for those higher upon the ladder of evolution to make their presence felt. This is, however, a very different thing to their use in order to become psychic.

It is interesting to note here that the first cause producing the unfoldment of soul powers, whether higher or lower, is the great wheel of rebirth. This must ever be taken into account. Everyone is not yet at the stage where it is possible for him to unfold the powers of the soul. The soul aspect is still dormant for many because full experience and development of the lower nature has not yet been undergone. The forty years’ wandering in the wilderness with the Tabernacle and the conquest of Canaan, had to precede the rule of the kings and the building of the Temple of Solomon. Lives must be passed before the body, or the Mother aspect, is so perfected that the Christ Child can be formed within the prepared vessel. It should also be remembered that the possession of the lower psychic powers is in many cases a symptom of a low stage of evolution and of the close association of their owner with the animal nature. This has to be outgrown before the higher powers can blossom forth.

It is needless to point out that the use of alcohol and of drugs can and does release the astral consciousness, as also the practice of sex magic, but this is astralism pure and simple and with this the true student of Raja Yoga has naught to do. It is part of unfoldment on the left-hand Path. The gaining of the soul powers by intense desire (or fervent aspiration) and by meditation has been covered in the other books and need not be enlarged upon here.

32. The modifications of the mind stuff (or qualities of matter), through the inherent nature of the three gunas come to an end, for they have served their purpose.

33. Time, which is the sequence of the modifications of the mind, likewise terminates, giving place to the Eternal Now.

34. The state of isolated unity becomes possible when the three qualities of matter (the three gunas or potencies of nature) no longer exercise any hold over the Self. The pure spiritual consciousness withdraws into the One.

The Externalization of the Hierarchy

In Connection with the Council Chamber of Sanat Kumara, the Lord of the World

As this subject concerns one of the seven goals towards which the Masters aim after They have attained the fifth initiation, it will be obvious to you that there is little that I can say about it. One of the seven Paths for which the Way of the Higher Evolution prepares the senior initiates is the Path of Earth Service. This Path, as you know, keeps the Masters attached to service in the three worlds for a period much longer than the average. It involves tremendous sacrifice. Just as the disciple has to live a dual life, with one part of his reflective nature and awareness centered in the life of the Hierarchy and the other part of his mental responsiveness equally centered on life in the three worlds, and this simultaneously, so the Master, when He chooses this Path, forms a constituent part of the Council Chamber of the Lord of the World and at the same time works consciously in the three worlds, via the Hierarchy (of which He remains also a part), and with the human and subhuman kingdoms in nature. As evolution proceeds, He will work increasingly via humanity because humanity will be shouldering its responsibilities as the Macrocosm of the lesser microcosm. This dual activity entails much specialized training, and as the initiatory process becomes exoteric and men everywhere recognize it and participate in it, the training which Members of the Hierarchy also undergo will not be so secret and mysterious as it is today. But the time has not yet come to publicize it.

Only certain further generalizations are here possible, some of which are already known to you because they are so broad that their inclusions and implications are obvious. This, for instance, concerns the “center where the Will of God is known”. Here at Shamballa work Those Who have unified Their personality will and Their spiritual will with the universal will, and such a unification inevitably brings knowledge. It is, however, not knowledge as you understand it. It is a blend of wisdom based on knowledge, understanding based on intuitive perception, and identification based on alignment, esoterically comprehended. For this peculiar condition or awareness we have no word in any language, and only the utilization (the trained utilization) of the abstract mind can possibly convey to you even an embryonic factual conception. But that type of imaginative conception will become more common during the next two centuries, and my words here will therefore serve an ultimate purpose. Those Who form the Council Chamber of the Great Lord are under no misapprehension as to His will because They see it whole. Paul, the initiate, hints at this when writing one of the Epistles; he is in touch then with certain Members of the Hierarchy and is concerned with the theme of Love, which is the fundamental hierarchical theme and motive. He says to Them: “Now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face; now we know in part, but then shall we know even as we are known.” He there points towards the future progress of the Hierarchy – a progress which remains as yet only a vague promise, lacking form and shape. But he wrote for initiates to whom love was a growing, vital concern, and to whom love and its practice meant light and the basic motif of all living, divine activity. It is not possible to reveal the will of God and the motivating Purpose of His manifesting Self, except to Those Who have demonstrated perfected love and Who register no sense of disunion or the faintest reaction to separateness.

At Shamballa, the Great Lives Who function there not only see manifestation whole and apart from all the limitations of time, but They feel all the major evolutionary impulses which are bringing the developing world into line with the divine Will. They embody those impulses not in terms of progressive movement, but in terms of one great divine and spiritual reaction. This idea can perhaps be best understood by you in terms of the Eternal AUM which is the symbol of the Eternal NOW. You have been told, and it has been demonstrated, that the AUM is composed of one major Sound, three minor sounds, and seven subsidiary vibratory tones. So it is with the Will of God which is embodied and held in synthesis by the Members of the Council Chamber. To Them, as They “hold the Will of God in solution, it is one clear note; as They see that Will in motion, it is three abiding chords, carrying outwards into all the worlds the Purpose of the ONE Who for aeons will abide; as They impel that Will to demonstrate, it is seven vibratory tones, drawing out into the reflected worlds the structure of the Plan. And thus the note, the chords and tone produce the Plan, reveal the Purpose and indicate God’s Will.” This is a quotation from certain of the ancient Archives which constitute the study of the Masters; they relate to the nature of Shamballa, its work and emanating energies.

Shamballa, as it constitutes the synthesis of understanding where our Earth is concerned, is also the center where the highest Will of the Solar Logos is imposed upon the Will of our planetary Logos, Who is, as you know, only a center in His greater body of manifestation. With this item of information you can have no possible concern; the Masters Themselves are only learning the Will of the planetary Logos; the objective of effort in Shamballa is, however, the apprehension of solar Purpose, the Plan of which is working out on the highest levels of our planetary system, just as the Will, Purpose and Plan of Shamballa work out on the three lowest levels of our planetary system. Again, this item of information serves only to indicate hierarchical objectives, and those objectives extend away from time and space into the Mind of God Himself.

There are certain synonyms which here may serve to develop your synthetic thinking and so bring in a definite measure of enlightenment.

SHAMBALLA

HIERARCHY

HUMANITY

 

 

 

Synthesis

Unity

Separation

Will

Purpose

Plan

Life

Soul

Appearance

Spirit

Consciousness

Substance

Livingness

Organism

Organization

Apprehension

Polarization

Focus of Activity

Power

Momentum

Action

Energy

Distribution

Forces

Direction

Transmission

Reception

Head

Heart

Throat

 

It will be apparent to you how little you can understand of the Shamballa intention when you realize that it is not easy for you to see any true distinction between unity and synthesis and, at the same time, how impossible it is for me to make the distinction clear. All I can say is that synthesis is, whilst unity is achieved and is the reward of action and effort. As you progress upon the Path of Initiation the meaning of unity clarifies. As you direct yourself towards the Way of the Higher Evolution synthesis emerges. More than that it would be useless for me to say.

This problem of the apparently impenetrable darkness of intention as grasped by Shamballa, of meaning, of inscrutability, of a spiritual imperviousness which holds, in spite of all fluctuations in the three worlds of human evolution and the remaining two of superhuman unfoldment, provides a situation to which the Hierarchy has to make adjustment through alignment. You are, in your small way, making your adjustment to the Hierarchy through a steady construction of the antahkarana, and in so doing are aiding in the construction of the antahkarana which unites Humanity and the Hierarchy – the first few strands of which were established through the sacrifices of certain of the Sons of God when the Hierarchy was founded on Earth. Today, the Hierarchy is working at the establishing of the linking strands between Itself and Shamballa, and good progress has already been made. It might be said here that for the past seven hundred years the chain of Hierarchy has been complete; by this I mean that the planetary rainbow bridge uniting the three major centers has existed. The task ahead of all these three major centers, working in alignment through adjustment, is to strengthen and beautify (if I may so express it), to electrify this bridge, thus producing full planetary inter-communication between the three centers and the four minor centers, so that “the weight of the Will of God, the momentum of the Purpose of Sanat Kumara and the Plan of His Representatives may progress unimpeded from point to point, from sphere to sphere and from glory to glory.”

It is this complete establishment of relationship between Shamballa, the Hierarchy and Humanity which brought about the planetary crisis through which the world has just passed and, from some standpoints, is still passing. Shamballa, as I have told you, can now reach Humanity, the third major center, directly, and therefore has two points of planetary contact: the first, via the Hierarchy, as has been for long the case, and secondly, in a straight line, carrying energy direct to Humanity, without any transmission and consequent modifying of impact, as has also been the case hitherto. When this direct line of spiritual, dynamic, electrical energy made its first impact on earth (after the Great Council held in 1825), it first of all awakened men’s thinking in a new and comprehensive way, producing the great ideologies; it aroused their massed desire, and registered obstruction on the physical plane. It found its course impeded and discovered it was faced with barriers. This energy from Shamballa, being an aspect of the ray of the destroyer, proceeded to “burn up” in the fires of destruction, all such hindrances upon the planes in the three worlds. This was the deeply esoteric and unrecognized cause of the war – the beneficent bringing to an end of the impediments to the free flow of spiritual energy down into the third center; this was the factor which called “evil from its hidden place” and brought the opposing forces to the surface of existence, prior to their “sealing”. To the extent that this was so, mankind in the World War (1914-1945) was the unhappy victim of spiritual circumstance; however, from the angle of man’s historical past, humanity was the engineer of its own fate; but it took both the esoteric activity of Shamballa and the exoteric activity of humanity over a millenia of years to precipitate the conditions which made this new alignment possible and brought about the sealing (still being carried slowly forward), and plunged mankind into the vortex of war. This impelling downpouring energy from the highest center penetrated not only to the heart of humanity, but into the very depths of the mineral kingdom, implicating also the animal and the vegetable expressions of divine life.

———————————————————————-

Excerpted from:

The Externalization of the Hierarchy – Section IV – Stages in the Externalization

Alice Bailey & Djwhal Khul

I attach a link to a dream I had about being a messenger.

Woven

Every word they said

Each thing done

Have been the engineers

The architects

 

The geysers of emotion

Washed my skin

Sometimes in acid anger

And betrayal

 

Soft balms of love

And support

Rare at this stake

No blues here!

 

For every trace

On the trellis of life

Has me woven

Into tapestry

 

Each eggshell shard

Of knowledge stored

With the winter squirrels

Under the oak

 

At the point before mind

The nascent world

Is yet to become

And so still, it’s here

 

Each soft caress of fate

Has sculpted my clay

And fired me

In the ovens

 

Eyes without glaze

Look cosmos past

The aching mundane

To Sirius and beyond

 

And were it not

For each hand

Each finger

I would not be where

 

At this place

In this time

Now the eternal

The fleeting second of forever

dharma of the day #7

be not fixated on perceived goals

whatever they may be

be thankful for the presents

already in your hands

 

the grass in the field next

is the same as this one

why peer ever longing over fences

when you already have bounty?

 

constant measuring with scales

makes cataracts for the eyes

the milky vision of which

is blinding to the awesome now

in all its magnificence

 

live mind-full and aware

of your state of being

for this can dress reality

in unfamiliar clothes

which do not actually fit

 

seek only the mountain stream

of clear and quenching calm

as fluid as a virgin brook

into which no palms have entered

be as nascent as a five year old

and as full of wonder

 

put aside the prison of pettiness

and soar on eagle’s wings

stretch out your being

so as to encompass

all the universe

 

learn the meaning of one

for you are one

and should you choose to see

you might be at one with all

all boundaries are constructs of mind

 

learn to ebb and flow

seek out the rhythm

and tap your toes to it

drum your fingers

feel the pulse of Dao in your veins

 

drop your shoulders

relax for the yoke of apparent burden

is what weighs you down

are you an Ox tethered in life

or a magnificent adventurer?

 

from time to time seek out silence

for there will you find treasure

amidst all the hubris

and hidden under leaves

to know silence intimately, enlightens

 

silence is a candle

which flickers in the core

to touch such as this

brings hints of eternity

with which to beautify the mundane

 

embrace silence, it is a friend

and most of all, a teacher

listen to his whisper

for he has much and nothing

to tell you

 

and when you hear nothing for

the very first time

you will be amazed and in awe

it is my wish for you

that you will hear the chimes

of nothing, profoundly

 

for this is the naked canvas

upon which you might paint

the tapestry of your life

full of sound, colour and movement.

 

Who wants to live forever??

When an instant bridges eternity

ever stretches infinite

way,

way

past the alpha of world

 

For is after omega

and the serpent of being

folds continuum cloth

Of

 

… … moment

 

To see such things

hinges the very door of madness

and oils the seams of

sand grain seconds

 

Life becomes eternal autumn

fading the echoes of

the tears and rips

rent

 

… …into the Dao

 

To carry such

shopping

hot from the counter

of rare unusual fare

 

Means not to tarry

exile for just a

little,

little

 

… …while

 

And with a draw

from the sideboard

of society

 

Eyes that see

are no longer blessed

with cataracts

 

And ears which hear

sound the timpani

of cacophony

 

… … urges

 

 for the windows

paint a pane full scene

 

Which catches not

 the semaphore

of planets

which are

 

…… as yet,

 

 un-spoken

 

The longing for, be,

be,

………belonging

 

Aches

as the know of no

 

Better then haste

to make

 

Tidy the must,

the cobweb life

spun in gossamer

on the spinning Jenny

 

The cost of which

yields no

golden penny

 

Always autumn

in their lives

 

The steak of form

pierces the heart

as it sizzles

 

Seared and sealed

in a fate,

 

a femtosecond fraction

of forever

 

And when can bear

no longer,

what then

 

… ……what then???

 

Who wants to live for ever??

A Day of Contrasts

Not long done my sous chef thing for dinner. I had to open a new 400g bag of garam masala from my secret spice stash. yummy smell.  Some things easily available in the UK are harder to find here but thanks to a 100 euro order on amazon I managed to replenish my spice stash a while back. I have kilner jar after kilner jar of the stuff.  In an hour or so I will rattle up a jalfrezi.

We heard that our wood burner is due for delivery next week so it has been all hands to the pump to get the wall ready. I have been filling it and today hand sanding it. I looked a little like a ghost albeit with sweat trickles. It is hard manual labour and then I looked up this on the internet:

My patent application just got published…a day of contrasts..

From the deep pungent brown garam masala to the ghostly white sandings off the wall. I kept imaging aboriginal body paint and didgeridoos whilst I was sanding. I can almost hear them now.

So let us add another contrast:

One can see that the flow is actually a series of discrete events….blending into each other, each a snapshot of the fleeting yet eternal now.

hmnn…

No sight….

No sight

Only now

No sight

And, no how

 

The deafening silence

Of the future

Stands amidst the bird song

Flaunting its mystery

 

The flag of the unknown

Soldiers on the breeze

Unhurried not pregnant

Calling for a kernel

 

In nutshell nuance

Of a golden germ

Borne by the brook of beginnings

At the turnstile of time

 

Weighting heavy

On a song-line story

Sung out and into

The leaden of night

 

Forging the plums and the cherries

 

Pinking them blush

To cheek in the sun

Berrying holly

Blood in the light

 

The question of Watt

Joules in each second

There sparkles a facet

Of diamond’s delight

 

Next is the answer

Shape has it not

 

Cotton its colour

Thread yet to weave

Coughing a coffin

So hard, to believe

 

Hanging like washing

Pegged to this fate

As patient as gypsies

So must I, still wait

 

The deafening silence

Of the future

 

No sight

Only now

No sight

And, no how….

The Exquisite Second

Suspended

In this exquisite second

Poised

 

All the fate-clouds

Rain

 

The ashes of before

Wash me

Marrow deep

 

The blessings

And the curses,

Envelop me

 

Those powdered deeds

They finger-fly

 

That cloud-burst

… inevitability

Soothes & enlivens

 

I sense the thunder-clap

The applause

Heavenly

 

The moment

Pregnant,

Heavy, birthing

 

Naught can I do

Else bathe

In the very time of it

 

It flows

Suspended, here

This exquisite second