A Most Unnerving Love

Without heat
Or coals of passion
As a feather
Sailing a tendril breeze

No demands
Or pressing
Past all the senses
Unseen, unnerving

Somehow so close
A wafting memory
Familiar from…
Before the dawn of birth

Ephemeral, formless
A fuzzy peach
On the hackles,
A mystic dew

No handles
No levers
Unhurried and free
No price, no condition

Piercing softly
Deep profound
The fabric through
And, without curtains

Unnerving subtle
Yet Marianas strong
Pulls the hidden umbilical
A tug of war

The timorous heart
Knows, it knows
That certain mind
Runs for the hills

Raw fresh nectar
Longed for

No name
To call it
A Soular yearning
And an ache

The spirit
Leaves his raindrops
Perfect earth she catches
Open palmed

Most unnerving
This fragile love
Beyond the known
And now, home

God – a being or a state of awareness?

For many centuries humanity has cast God in its own image. We have some benevolent /vengeful geezer with a beard in a paternal sense and a Caucasian man getting nailed to the cross in Israel long before there was widespread travel and intermingling. Over the years many cultures have their own version of God and Gods. Our concept of deity is a time evolving one. This is a safe statement. Even the religions splinter and have different versions of God which arise out of the same scriptures.

I personally cannot imagine heaven and hell as they are often portrayed in artwork, because these portrayals have humans in corporeal forms. When you are dead and have quit your body, you don’t have one that looks like meat. Some people even have their body burned.

There are some questions that we cannot answer.

Science is pretty sure that the universe exists, and modern science even has a time frame for this current manifestation of the universe, 14 billion years-ish. By using instrumentation based largely on electromagnetic radiation we can measure the visible or emissive universe. This is the prakṛti or material universe, we do not have any instruments that might measure puruṣa. So even in our wisdom, which we might overestimate, we have at best half the story. The immaterial universe, the subjective is as it currently stands, beyond our instrumentation. The cycling of universe is spoken of in Vedic writings, and is not as yet forbidden by modern science, we have the so-called great crunch as a possible fate for this one. The one in which you and I are currently manifested incarnate beings.

We can say with a fair measure of confidence that the universe is.

We cannot answer why it is, nor for what purpose it manifested / is manifesting.

We might be able to offer some reasoned arguments for how come it came into being, in what way it manifests.

So, did a God kick off this whole shebang?

Does God have other beings who are his/her Gods?

Many traditions have a sense of an overarching Spirit which remains unmanifested. The so-called negative veils of existence Ain, Ain Soph, Ain Soph Aur of the kabbalist, the Nagal of the Toltecs, The Brahman and in a sense Wakan Tanka of the Sioux.

Is it necessary to invoke some kind of being? Or could we simply have “an awareness” without any form whatsoever, an awareness which is arupa, formless, no matter, no shape. As an abstract concept it is difficult to get your head around an insubstantive thing which is aware. Are we limited by our prejudices?

Now more than ever humanity is much more capable of abstract thought, we do not need oil paintings, or statues we have virtual reality and that can be time evolving.

In the Toltec Teachings there is a notion of before the universe. If there is no universe, there is no thing. No thing is very empty, a void, the utter nothingness of vacuum. We already have few problems with our cartesian thinking. What were the dimensions of this no thing? It is an invalid question because if there is no thing, even dimension has not yet manifested and remember dimension is something we humans dreamed up.

The narrative continues. This no thing this void was somehow aware, and it figured out that it was lacking “self”-knowledge there were aspects about itself which were unknown, perhaps unknowable. Remember this awareness was alone in the non-universe the void. In contemplation it had the inquiry as to what was known, unknown and unknowable. Some ”thing” stirred in its awareness.  Or perhaps it might be better to say the progenitor of “thing”, this bugged it. In order to find out what was unknown it had to manifest the unknown or matter aspect of itself. It had to make stuff. Out of arupa and pure nothingness it had to manifest rupa. And so, in a quest to understand its own awareness the great Spirit, the Nagal, gave birth to an aspect of its own awareness, the Nagal’s awareness which precipitated the creation of our universe as we now know it.

To imagine even for an attosecond that we mighty comprehend an awareness capable of manifesting a universe to better understand itself, is foolhardy arrogance.

You may notice that I have used it. This it cannot be until after the very first stages of manifestation. Because it cannot exist unless there is something. Nothing implies no it. I have used it as a convenience cognisant that it is strictly a turn of phrase.

Is God – a being or a state of awareness?

Wakan Tanka – Great {universal} Spirit

From Wikipedia

In Lakota spirituality, Wakan Tanka (Standard Lakota Orthography: Wakȟáŋ Tȟáŋka) is the term for the sacred or the divine. This is usually translated as the “Great Spirit” and occasionally as “Great Mystery”.

Wakȟáŋ Tȟáŋka can be interpreted as the power or the sacredness that resides in everything, resembling some animistic and pantheistic beliefs. This term describes every creature and object as wakȟáŋ (“holy”) or having aspects that are wakȟáŋ. The element Tanka or Tȟáŋka corresponds to “Great” or “large”.

Before contact with European Christian missionaries, the Lakota used Wakȟáŋ Tȟáŋka to refer to an organization or group of sacred entities whose ways were mysterious: thus, “The Great Mystery”. Activist Russell Means also promoted the translation “Great Mystery” and the view that Lakota spirituality is not monotheistic.

From Wikipédia

Wakan Tanka (prononciation : Wakaŋ Tȟaŋka), qui signifie littéralement « Sacré Grand » en lakota, une des langues des Sioux, est souvent traduit par « Grand Esprit ». Son sens est proche de « Grand Mystère », étant donné que la spiritualité lakota n’est pas monothéiste. Selon certains, avant la tentative de conversion au christianisme, Wakan Tanka faisait référence à une organisation d’entités sacrées dont les desseins étaient mystérieux, d’où le sens de « Grand Mystère ». Il est compris comme le pouvoir ou le sacré qui réside en tout, rappelant les notions animistes ou panthéistes

Powerlase Dream 3-3-21

This is not one dream but a series because I awoke between segments and went back to sleep with the intent of re-joining the dream. Powerlase is a laser company I co-founded over 20 years ago and I have had nothing to do with it for well over a decade, nearly two.


I am in a crowded office with various people from Imperial whom I once used to know. It is absolutely clear to me that there is a vast misunderstanding about why I left Powerlase and that all sorts of rumours are at hand. I explain that a major part of why I left was a personality clash with the CEO and the apparent greed of one of the VCs. This seems to be news to them.

I am walking outside the Powerlase site on some grass and mulling over the earlier segment of the dream. I see a metal pipe, about two inches in diameter protruding out of the grass. The pipe has a bend at the top. The pipe is painted a dark green colour. I touch the pipe with my hand and there is a truly massive electrical discharge between my hand and the pipe. This discharge is accompanied by a brilliant flash and very a loud bang. There is no damage either to my hand or the pipe. In the dream I know that electricity is the dreaming symbol for the nagal, the spirit and that lightning is universal intent.

I arrive at the Powerlase car park in my sports car which looks a bit like a Morgan. I get out and go into the building. I see a secretary there and go towards her. As I do this one of the senior staff is leaving their office. They see me and back off back into the office. I explain to the secretary that no one needs to see me or doing anything because my visit is un-announced. She says that I can email her to arrange a meeting. She is going to get me her card. I notice that she has a piece of toilet paper up each nostril. These are flecked with blood. She says that this is a lasting symptom of COVID-19 which she has had. I talk with her about introversion. As we are doing this various employees come in. Each of them looks at me then looks away so as to avoid my gaze. She shows me to the door.

I am now on my way to my car and see the secretary again. I give her a friendly wave, which she returns. She is on her way back from, the doctors, she has even more symptoms of long COVID-19. I sit in my car which is open topped.  Someone from the company comes out and drops a pair of laser safety goggles in the passenger seat. He says that I forgot them. I explain that I did not go near any lasers and the goggles are the company’s. I do not need them. He retrieves the goggles. Now a small crowd of employees has gathered, and they are looking in the boot of my car. I drive off.

Dream ends.

A Pauper’s Eyes

Piercing the plastic

Visa card lives

the Pauper of the Spirit

sees through


Beyond the chip on the shoulder

and the PIN in the heart

a parsimony of words

is all that he speaks


Each tadpole tale

which he tells

turns into princes

which add that little

… … ad astra to life


At his club

there is plenty for all

the diners and the,

life is tough whiners


All the tributaries of the Amazon

can’t fill his brook

no horizon can hold

where his gaze might amaze


All the express trains

aren’t fast enough

and TGV tantrums

wash off his back


The Pauper has zero

on a rare golden chain

and no-one can take this

for they can’t see where


On the balcony of hope

he sings serenades

and purses his drawstring

to capture the air


Sharp as a diamond

still carrying his flaws

he sees all the letters

which fetter and blind


And thanks to that poker

which put greed out his eyes

he understands more

and has no time, for whys


A meagre used penny

will rattle his tin

he knows you are right

he feels it within


He hears what you say

as you hurry and fret

perhaps you might own him

your own little pet


Buy him some raiment

and a new pair of socks

shave off his beard

and free him from stocks


Take him to sanctuary

where your charity pays

at last you have taught

the error of his ways


Safe in your semi-detached

proud to be normal you sleep with the wife

snuggled and comfy

most sure and content with all of  your life


But could you really look deep into his Soul for more than a second?


He was wounded by our transgressions and crushed for our inequities; by His wounds were we healed.


Those that live by the sword

Die by the sword


In these hands I hold

The dove

Of human kind-ness


I kiss her

Behind the ear

And whisper

Sweet nothing

In her ear


Now bearing the infinite

I set her free


To seek


 …….. to find


In the whip and the nail

Of my Passion

And the silence

That would not

To speak


For to sully

The silence

With the earth bound



Of words

 Touches not


And they know not

What they do


For the spoke

Of it



And to Caesar

Must I go….


For the hands

Of it are washed


Yet the clean

Is yet to seen






Into your hands

I commend my spirit


And so with it

As you will


For your will



Be done

This day


THAT which

Comes from




Now be done

 And I will

 I will


 The sword


Of MY truth

To bear


For my arm

Is rested


 Now ready


In the darkest


I have wandered


And now found




Dharma of the Day #5

your expectations and those of others

are the bricks and the iron bars

with which mutual imprisonment

is forcefully maintained;

abandon all expectations


the wish life of the lower mind

creates a concatenation

which manacles the spirit

and blinds true relations;

look very far beyond wishes


the coils of prejudice

squeeze tighter than any Anaconda

circling thought mind

suffocates any nascent growth;

learn to be fluid


the tourniquet of reason

prevents the flow of blood

the cells of new being

are hence deprived;

seek to live like a mountain stream


water does not ever bind

it seeks out new paths

and bends the reeds of circumstance

without damaging them

in so doing it rejoices, daily


learn to laugh like the streams

who caress the mossy beards on all of the rocks

pensive and considerate on their journey

for the banks of a river are merely temporary

water, in time, always merges with Dao


the essence of existence is to merge

to become at-one with the universe

in this water is a great teacher

for water knows its place;

find yours and learn from it each and every morning