Compassion and Unconditional Love

I’ll start this by saying that many who find themselves on the receiving end of unconditional love, do not like it all that much. It is not sloppy, shmaltzy and delivered with pulsing heart emojis. Nor is transactional, negotiated and bargaining. It does not say, “if you buy me a present I will give you a BJ”. It is not about buying someone a present because they bought you one.

It says it on the tin, unconditional.

People do not understand what unconditional means because their entire existence is drowned in conditions. IF you know what I mean, THEN you might get me.

There are terms and conditions to so very many human interactions.

“Don’t upset me by calling me fat!”

Well, if you are fat what is wrong with somebody else pointing this out.

“If you call me fat, I will tell everybody that you fat shamed me !!”


My body mass index is above thirty. Therefore, technically I am obese. I am also quite muscular for a late fifties dude. Yet the doctors only see their graphs and not my biceps. When I pointed this out to one medic unconditionally, he threw a strop at me. I, without condition, had tried to point out his tunnel vision. I had questioned his deity in His temple, his surgery.

One of the problems with unconditional love is the shoot the foxtrotting messenger syndrome. I have spoken my truth unconditionally on many occasions and then they unload a whole quiver full of arrows at me.

True compassion as opposed to sentimentality is also quite hard, tough even. I can understand where someone is coming from, dislike their behaviours and be willing to say so, but I will not judge them. They are a part of me, a part of the one life. Full of compassion for THE evolution I might tell them some uncomfortable home truths. This is not done out of hate and criticism; it is done out of my wish to help a fellow being evolve. But what happens? They reach back to their quiver and shoot the messenger.

There is only ONE LIFE, and we are each but aspects thereof.

Unconditional love and compassion can seem harsh and uncompromising. Why because they do not promise together, com – promise. It is not a negotiation.

It is an offering, made freely with love and absolutely no expectation.

om mane padme hum

INFJ – No Filter – Offending

For whatever reason I am with this alleged quirk of the INFJ personality today. It started off with me looking at various INFJ memes as I do on occasion, just to remind myself that there are others “out there”.

Variously INFJs say nothing and internalize or offer a truth. That truth can be very detailed, deeply considered and highly accurate from wide perspective, it rarely has any filter. It is a whole truth and nothing but the truth. There is no holding back, it can be both barrels, so to speak.

I have noted over the years that I have offended many people by doing this, offering a truth. Many have sought petty revenge for my offering. People unwilling to accept said truth have sought to punish me for its provision. The quandary is to keep silence or accept a likely angry revenge. From time to time I piss people off, especially those who are prone to self-importance, with inflated and erroneous self-perspective.

One of things I dislike is people being fake, smarmy and toady, brown nosing, if you know what I mean. Yup, I understand that this kind of “politics” helps advancement for those so inclined, but I cannot bring myself to do it. It is akin to my dislike of small talk. Most people seem content enough to play this societal game, which we might call ritual sniffing, like dogs.

People are afraid of being real. They are not real to others and do not like it when people are real to them.

I have heard it described as an iron fist in a velvet glove. That is when an INFJ gives you the benefit of his / her opinion. It comes out of the blue, is totally unexpected and then, BAM!

It is never done to score points or to injure or to offend. It is done to provide clarity and aid evolution. It is done for growth but so often it is not accepted as the gift which it is meant to be.


Pearls before swine and all that.

If an INFJ motivated by an upswelling of unconditional love goes to the trouble of offering their truth and it offends…

Then they are increasingly likely to stay silent.

Full of apparent “contradictions”, is what others say but there is logical consistency and no contradiction. It is simply cause and effect.

Oh well inner nuance foster journeys…


He loved too much

There once was a man who loved too much
So much that it broke his heart
He saw it pulsing on the floor
A fish, a goldfish, sprung from the bowl
And so,…. so very, out of water.

So that fish cried and cried and cried 
Such that it could live
And in the wetness of its tears
It breathed again
Sanguine and bloody, at the sorrows of the world

As each blood drop fell into the ditch of human will

He dreamed the seed of becoming
As vital sap oozed on land
To fertilize earth and mind
He bled tears of deepest red

And this fish was suffocated by pillow mind

Pressed against to stifle and subdue
Feeling the feathers harsh against THE word
Lest comfort might condition the fabric of life
Numb, numb and numb as a cocaine filled nose.

And in his padded cell

He wonders at the prurient wisdom of all
Lock him away
Silence him
And then, we can all get on with our lives.

Then we will be happy

Then no more challenge
Then peace and satisfaction
Then, not a lot
Then justification and mind

Then no heart

Then only regret and sorrow


And as the Gaoler came to lock him away they all sighed with relief.


And what NOW????